My friend Corinna, a really smart and independent little lady, wrote on her facebook: "people become the fastest judges when it comes to sexuality. and we're always quick to distance ourselves as the ones who stand on higher moral ground. seriously, the point being? how is your need to be self-gratified in tandem with a stranger's sexuality?".
I was thinking about it and realized it doesn't only apply to sexuality. People get on their high horses ALL THE FREAKING TIME. They think they know better who you should be with, or what you should be doing with your life, when they never spent a minute thinking about how you feel. I should know. I've been no stranger to my own condemnations recently.
But are there exceptions to it, when we should condemn someone harshly just to make him wake up? In other words, the cliched "for his own good?" What if it really is - for his own good?
A friend of mine got himself into the doldrums, and boy was it pretty murky. Now he's looking to escape from it all, and he's looking at facing some pretty harsh condemnations of his own. Running away to a foreign country where you have no kin or friend, to someone you barely know and who has already gotten you into a whole lot of trouble - does that make sense? Would you expect to be condemned?
I tried putting myself into his shoes. And then I'm caught between wanting to advice him and wanting to empathize with him. I find myself tithering on the brink of passing judgment, whilst wanting the best for him. After all, what do I know? I'm just a small little girl in a big big world.
On the other hand, I ask myself, did we as friends do enough to make him want to stay? Is posting comments and your opinions on facebook sufficient, or should we do more to meet up with him to take his mind off said unhealthy factor? Doesn't help that half of our social circle is up in Bangkok these two weeks, who is he to turn to other than the person who lured him to the doldrums in the first place?
Or should we just wish him best? Perhaps he really needs to learn it the hard way, that running away is not going to solve anything, and that sometimes, your friends really mean the best for you.
I was thinking about it and realized it doesn't only apply to sexuality. People get on their high horses ALL THE FREAKING TIME. They think they know better who you should be with, or what you should be doing with your life, when they never spent a minute thinking about how you feel. I should know. I've been no stranger to my own condemnations recently.
But are there exceptions to it, when we should condemn someone harshly just to make him wake up? In other words, the cliched "for his own good?" What if it really is - for his own good?
A friend of mine got himself into the doldrums, and boy was it pretty murky. Now he's looking to escape from it all, and he's looking at facing some pretty harsh condemnations of his own. Running away to a foreign country where you have no kin or friend, to someone you barely know and who has already gotten you into a whole lot of trouble - does that make sense? Would you expect to be condemned?
I tried putting myself into his shoes. And then I'm caught between wanting to advice him and wanting to empathize with him. I find myself tithering on the brink of passing judgment, whilst wanting the best for him. After all, what do I know? I'm just a small little girl in a big big world.
On the other hand, I ask myself, did we as friends do enough to make him want to stay? Is posting comments and your opinions on facebook sufficient, or should we do more to meet up with him to take his mind off said unhealthy factor? Doesn't help that half of our social circle is up in Bangkok these two weeks, who is he to turn to other than the person who lured him to the doldrums in the first place?
Or should we just wish him best? Perhaps he really needs to learn it the hard way, that running away is not going to solve anything, and that sometimes, your friends really mean the best for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment